


who's kinda cute and who's just a mess

by bhaer



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Female Relationships, Food Fight, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhaer/pseuds/bhaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the perfect place for an explosion, which came in the form of a flying ball of mashed potatoes, whizzing at Wendy Babet’s head. It seemed to happen in slow motion and when everyone watching (because most of the cafeteria had gathered around to watch the two verbally spar) realized the potatoes' trajectory, a hush fell over the crowd. Julie Prouvaire looked away.</p><p>It hit Wendy’s face with a splat and then, as soon as the silence fell, multiple screaming voices took over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	who's kinda cute and who's just a mess

Afterwards, no one could quite figure out how the fight started.

Mattie was being her usual charming self, arguing vehemently about whether or not it was unconstitutional for the administration to require a chaperone at student government meetings (“Does the constitution even apply in public education?” Norah asked good-naturedly as she sanitized her lunch tray with baby wipes) with a bored looking Wendy Babet. Emily would chime in every so often with a vague suggestion while Sam flicked spitballs at everyone through her plastic straw in a desperate attempt to quiet the yelling. She was the only one apparently concerned with Mrs. Javert, the hall monitor, who would certainly be displeased at raised voices in the cafeteria.

In a corner of the lunch table, Julie, Riley and Rosa watched the action in a state of lethargy, the toxic smell of marijuana hanging around them like a cloud. They had just returned from Rosa’s car to binge on funions while Julie scribbled down bits of poetry about space.

“This is so stupid,” Riley muttered, taking a large gulp of her juice box. “If they’re so angry, they should just… settle it.”

“I think Mattie gets a thrill out of arguing. It’s what she has instead of a boyfriend,” Rosa said. Julie raised her eyebrows slowly.

“And you do?” Riley said. Riley was dating Jeff Gueulemer, a hulking linebacker player with a penchant for presenting her with “presents” he had stolen. It was a talent, Riley claimed, being able to open any locker in the school with a paperclip in under ten minutes.

“I’m a jack of all trades,” Rosa said, shrugging her shoulders and stuffing a handful of fries in her mouth.

“What does that even mean?” Julie asked.

“It means I have my ways.”

“With who?” Julie persisted.

“People.”

“Men or women?” Riley asked excitedly. Rosa frowned and pretended to slap Riley with an empty soda can.

“Men, of course. Do I look like I swing that way?” She cried. Riley paused in mock consideration while Julie busied herself with her French homework.

“Let’s just say I get around,” Rosa muttered and Riley, though smiling widely, let it be.

They all agreed later that that was when the trouble started. When Riley stopped tormenting Rosa out of something like pity, she was left with nothing to focus her immense, drug-addled brain on. Field hockey season was over, as was soccer and a Riley Bahorel without an occupation was a Riley Bahorel ready to make trouble.

The argument at the front of the table was still ensuing with Mattie jumping to increasingly hyperbolic claims. When the discussion had begun, the student government’s rules were unfair but now they were no less than a fascist chokehold over liberty. Wendy Babet, the sophomore class’s most apathetic senator who had run to get into a decent college and was now appropriating the bake sale proceeds towards her weekly manicure, was growing impatient.

Sam and Emily, usually adept at wrangling in Northwood High’s littlest protestor, were powerless. They only watched, vaguely horrified, as Mattie spun further and further into a ball of pure fervor. It was mesmerizing. Sam stopped trying to fling spitballs around and instead focused on a trademark comic relief to dissolve tension.

First, a crack about how if Mattie loves student government so much, why doesn’t she marry it? This was met with a chuckle from Norah and a glare from both Mattie and Wendy.

Next, a sarcastic comment about how the only thing the class senators could agree on was the quality of the food. It was met with silence. Emily had stopped giving input, instead holding Mattie's hand under the table in a desperate attempt to calm her.

It was the perfect place for an explosion, which came in the form of a flying ball of mashed potatoes, whizzing at Wendy Babet’s head. It seemed to happen in slow motion and when everyone watching (because most of the cafeteria had gathered around to watch the two verbally spar) realized the potatoes' trajectory, a hush fell over the crowd. Julie looked away.

It hit Wendy’s face with a splat and then, as soon as the silence fell, multiple screaming voices took over.

Wendy claimed until graduation that she saw Sam throw it, but this was widely disproved. Emily, who had been sitting across from Sam, saw nothing and furthermore, Sam wasn’t even eating mashed potatoes but her usual pepperoni pizza slice. Still, as a previous spitball instigator, she was under direct suspicion of having collaborated with the perpetrator, even if she didn’t personally throw the potatoes. Mattie, when questioned, blamed one of the crowd but the trajectory of the throw didn’t line up. It had to have come from the table, said Emily, who was taking physics and so ought to know.

It wasn’t until college that Riley confessed.

This was all being discussed in barely contained screams. The discussion included Wendy, Mattie, all their friends and the entire student body. Someone (Becky Montparnasse later admitted, under the influence of cheap vodka at Riley’s sixteenth birthday party, that it was her) began to throw bits of stew and bystanders, angry that they were now covered in soggy beef after just trying to leisurely watch two student government official go at each others’ throats, retaliated. Within ten minutes, the cafeteria had dissolved into chaos.

Norah hid under the table with Ann, who debated fetching a teacher. Riley, who’s aim had been compromised by being high as balls, still participated cheerfully and enthusiastically, getting Social Studies teacher Mr. Valjean in the eyes with a piece of asparagus. Sam felt duty-bound to defend her honor and therefore attacked Wendy with peas while Wendy screamed that it was all Sam’s fault as she pelted Sam with orange peels. Emily, for all her primness, climbed onto the vending machine in her kitten heels and sprayed the crowd with ginger ale. Mattie stood in the middle of the mass screaming for everyone to stop behaving like children, but that only made the crowd more willing to throw bits of food at each other. Julie watched the action from the corner, eyes wide and bloodshot, feeling as though she was witnessing some great ancient battle, completely awestruck by the action.

That had been Rosa’s plan, until she saw slimey Becky Montparnasse push past Sam to pour a carton of chocolate milk on Mattie’s head. Something about the idea of chocolate milk mixing in Mattie’s golden curls awoke something animal in Rosa (or maybe it was the THC), who lunged at Becky kicking and screaming. She got a bowl of fruit loops and milk to the face for her trouble and after realizing she was essentially useless in action, joined Norah and Ann under the table.

It took Javert twenty minutes to calm the fighting and in that time the entire cafeteria was covered in food, as well as most of the occupants. She tried to establish blame but that nearly caused another fight, then tried to punish everyone, until Mrs. Louis-Phillipe, the principle, intervened and delivered the unhappy news that seventy-plus students couldn’t all be expelled. In the end everyone, including Mattie and Wendy, agreed with it had begun with Mattie and Wendy fighting over student government.

“I’m very disappointed in you both, but especially you, Matilda. You had such passion and potential,” Javert whispered menacingly. Wendy was on the verge of tears but not Mattie. She stood up perfectly straight, met Javert’s eyes and only Emily could tell that she was upset by the way she kept clenching and unclenching her fists.

And for the second time in the past hour, Rosa decided to take a bullet for Mattie.

“I did it,” She said loudly. Everyone turned to look at her and she knew from their faces that they didn’t believe it for a second but the teachers were pleased to have a scapegoat and that was that. She had an uncomfortable meeting with Louis-Phillipe and Javert while she dripped fruit loops on the floor, and walked out a half hour past end of school, suspended and vaguely nauseous.

Rosa shuffled miserably to her car. When her father came home from work, he’d kill her, especially after her last algebra test. And, for all her smoking and drinking and general tomfoolery, she did want to go to college and she didn’t imagine a suspension would look good on a transcript. Seeing Riley on the hood of her shitty used car, Rosa paused, keys in hand.

“Do you need a ride home?” She asked.

“Not really, but if you’re offering,” Riley said, smiling as creamed spinach slithered down her neck. She was clearly the worst hit, covered in all manner of disgusting cafeteria food, and yet she was grinning ear to ear.

“You look about as bad as I feel,” Rosa muttered as she moved to sit next to Riley.

“What, gay?” It was said in jest but Rosa felt her cheeks redden. Riley’s face softened.

“You didn’t have to take the blame. I would have…”

“No, I wanted to,” Rosa grumbled.

“Why?”

Rosa leaned back against the dashboard. It was almost spring and soon her horrible freshman year would be over. She’d be able to tromp through the woods and smoke all she wanted and it wouldn’t be good, because things were never good for Rosa, but it would be okay.

“Javert was going to kick Mattie of off student government and I know that would have killed her.”

Riley exhaled deeply. “You know I joke about you being a friend of Sappho,” Riley said slowly, “but no matter who you want to fuck, we’ll all still vaguely tolerate you the way we do now. No one cares about your… orientation or whatever. We don’t care who you’re having sex with, as long as it’s good and you like ‘em and all.”

Rosa couldn’t find it in herself to argue that she was having sex with tons of super hot guys. Something tickled in the back of her throat.

“I’m not gay. Mattie’s my friend and she cares about student government more than…” Rosa grasped around wildly for a metaphor. “…You care about starting shit. I just didn’t want her to lose that.”

“You had nothing to do with the fight at all. You didn’t even enjoy it,” Riley whispered.

“Hey, I got out of biology because of it,” Rosa said. She managed a weak smile. She was thinking of the way Mattie had looked when she argued with Wendy, her blue eyes blazing and her lips pursed and a little line between her brows. Remembering it gave Rosa a tingling feeling in her stomach.

No.

That meant nothing. It meant she was bored. It meant she had low self-esteem and had attached like Mattie like some kind of barnacle. It meant she was affectionate. It wasn’t sexual because Rosa wasn’t gay and she certainly wasn’t in love with Matilda Enjolras.

That night, after the fighting and the slammed doors and smashed plates, Rosa logged onto her instant message program. She wanted to thank Riley for her offer of a sleepover that weekend and ask Ann what the art homework was. It was with a little jolt of surprise that she saw PoliticsPrincessx91 was logged on. Mattie rarely IMed, preferring to write long, meandering e-mails. When the bing of her computer informed her she’d been messaged, she was more surprised. Ignoring the giddy feeling in her chest, she read Mattie’s message.

 **PoliticsPrincessx91:** I know you didn’t start the food fight.

 **paRtygrrl097:** so?  >:]

 **PoliticsPrincessx91:** So why did you take the fall for me?

 **paRtygrrl097:** idk, seemed like a good idea at the time lol

 **PoliticsPrincessx91:** Well thank you. It was really thoughtful. Let me know if I can make it up to you.

 **paRtygrrl097:** np, lemme know if u need to be bailed out of any other situations

Feeling sick to her stomach, Rosa signed offline and crawled into bed. Her dreams featured Mattie, like they always did, shining golden and serious. This time, thinking of her conversation with Riley, Rosa didn’t let her hands wander down the drawstrings of her pajama pants when she woke up. She lay under the stifling covers and cried, though she didn’t know why.

**Author's Note:**

> There's an Arrested Development reference if you can catch it! This is total crack but I had fun reliving my angsty high school days, so hopefully you did too. Reviews make Rosa Grantaire have gayer thoughts than normal, so send as many as you can.


End file.
